this is a white flag and my back to you

You don’t want to come after me

because I see right through you

because I was you;

ignorant to despair

stranded from self.

I’m not trying to say I’m better than you,

just in a different place.

As far as I see it,

you have nothing on me

I deem of importance.

You haven’t stumbled on the realization

that there is more than fame and men,

there’s more than attacking other women

and calling them ‘bitches’.

Don’t you know?

You’re perpetuating their rape culture jargon,

you’re selfish self indulgence is a distraction.

Did no one ever tell you?

Bringing others down doesn’t get you higher

only wanting more;

more vengeance,

more war

to feed the greed-

you’re a capitalist

and you support their tyranny.

So this is to you and anyone else who thinks I still hold a grudge:

I’ve got two fists full of half poems

and no capacity for your petty posturing.

I won’t let retribution run me.

I won’t let anger stunt me.

I’ve burdened my own bitterness like an inner sickness.

And I saw what bitterness did to him,

watched him for three years drag it like a gangrene limb.

So if I have anything to say to you,

it won’t be anonymously-

you will know.

I’ll put it in a poem for you

to recite nightly.